Karyssa Nelson, the author of “To Doors that Lead to Nowhere,” is a senior undergraduate student studying Psychology with a minor in Biology. “The inspiration behind my poem is rooted in my experience living with my grandmother since she was diagnosed with vascular dementia 12 years ago. To me, dementia is one of the most dehumanizing diseases there is: as it progresses, the line between the illness and the person’s identity begins to blur. This is why at the beginning of the poem, it may seem as though the door is being anthropomorphized to seem like a person, but you may quickly realize as the poem continues that it is actually a person who is being dehumanized to seem like a door. There are flashes of what lies behind this door, however, when memories occasionally resurface. I find myself often trying to replicate those moments of lucidity by showing her old photographs or her creations as a seamstress, hoping that something will trigger a memory. The result of this is often defeat, leaving me wondering why I would think that I could hold the keys to a door that is not my own. It is a strange thing to have been shaped and molded as a person by someone who can never know the impact that she has had on the woman I am today. Although I miss the woman I once knew my grandmother to be, growing up with her beside me has given me many gifts; the dearest to me being empathy and patience for others. I find solace in knowing that she is always surrounded by those who love her deeply, whether she knows it or not.”
